New plan.

The results came back from my PET scan and it showed that I had one spot lighting up still. Dr. Lam wanted to do a biopsy to make sure it wasnt a false positive. I met with the surgeon who would be doing my biopsy and she explained to me that when she goes in she might have to cut through my sternum. Lovely. At this point I figured there was no use in getting worked up over it because I couldnt control the outcome..

As I came to after my surgery the only discomfort I had was my throat. It felt very sore from the breathing tube. Ryan was able to come back shortly after. They didnt have to cut through my sternum so that was a relief. We went home that day.

The results of the biopsy came back as cancerous. I was really upset. Dr. Lam told me his new plan. I was going to start new chemo. Gemcitabine and Carboplatin mixed with a steroid dexamethasone. The chemo was supposed to have mild side effects. My hair shouldnt fall out and it shouldnt make me very sick. I was happy to hear that. I had a couple of inches of new growth. I decided to dye it red. Why not?

He also said that there was a high possibility of receiving a stem cell transplant and radiation. I was so scared. He assured me that the stem cell transplant would give me the long life I had been telling him I wanted. He said this is the route we should "hope" for. Basically we would do the cycles of the new chemo and once it worked we would go into the process of getting the stem cell transplant. 

I always told Dr. Lam that I needed to be here and that I want to see my children grow up and grow old with Ryan. He said this was the way to ensure that. I was terrified... mostly of having to be away from my family for so long in the hospital. I didnt want to miss Christmas.. From the looks of things, I would be missing the holidays..